Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Birthdays have always been important to me. A way of celebrating the beginning of another year of life with family and friends. It's like starting a new chapter in a much loved, don't want to put down book. Growing up, I had some of the greatest parties. My mom was really big into cake decorating, so one year, she found all these little doll heads and made these enormous cake dresses around them and then we had a game of "musical chairs" so to speak and the winner of each round got to pick the doll they wanted. I think the best one was my 17th when we had two slip and slides in the back yard and we were having races down them. After a while we got smart and put them together and made one long slip and slide which was a blast! My poor Dad was so upset, because it kind of ruined his yard the next year.

Last year, I hit the big 2-5 and was not really interested in celebrating or even admitting to anyone that it was my birthday. As a child you have all these lofty ideas of what your life is going to be like when you hit your mid twenties, and the reality does not usually add up to the fantasy. Here I was, thinking about all the things that I felt like I was missing out on, when I should have been celebrating all the things I had accomplished in 25 years.

So this year, I have taken a more positive outlook on being 26 and instead of thinking about all the "what if's" and whatnot, I'm thankful for not only another year, but hopefully being another year wiser. I have a great family, wonderful friends, and a God that is showing me all the things that I can be and do through him.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Children having Children

As I sit here at work and stare off into space, thoughts are running through my mind so rapidly, I figured the best way to start sorting them out was to write them out in front of me. I received an e-mail from a friend today was was suppose to appear on a show and discuss the article that is attached below. There is a group of girls in Gloucester that made a pact with each other to get pregnant so that their children would grow up together. Sounds nice doesn't it? Well... too bad the majority of these girls are not even 16 years old yet. This epic seems to be happening more and more these days, young kids giving birth to kids? What happened to the sanctity of marriage? What happened to waiting until you were in a serious, committed relationship before you even had sex? How can you even begin to possibly understand the ramifications of how this act will change your life, open you up to the possibilities of any number of STD's, and put an abrupt end to your childhood. These girls are bringing another human into this world and they cannot even drive, let alone vote, buy cigarettes or alcohol, or even enter a rated R movie. How can they be expected to take on the responsibility of an other's well-being when they cannot drive to the store to get the basic items a child needs. They have not even begun to experience life and all the great things that graduating from High School, and College and entering the professional realm have to offer. Having a baby at such an early age robs you of your adolescence. I would not trade the experiences that I have been able to have throughout my childhood, adolescence and now adulthood. Going to the prom, your first college relationship, your first final, picking your major, your first fraternity party, having your heart broken only to realize that you can pick yourself back up and keep going no matter how much it hurts, falling in love again, graduating, having that first steady pay-check in the "real world," your first promotion, etc.

I keep asking myself why this is happening? Is this age group just looking for someone to love them, are they being influenced by something that is happening around them in society, are we just promoting sex more these days? I know that as I've gotten older, I've watched the younger girls skirts get shorter and shorter and their shirts get higher and higher. Then I realize who their role models are: Brittany Spears, Jessica Alba, Ashley Simpson, who are out there getting pregnant and then starting to talk about marriage. Have our values really changed that much in the past 10-20 years? It has been proven time and again that having a baby will not solve the problems of a married couple, but when there are children out there having children, who ends up raising them, and how does that affect the realtionship of the new found grandparents? Do the newly found "grandparents" take care of the child, and if so how does that dynamic effect them when they are older? Do they call them "Grandma" and "Grandpa" or whatever term of endearment they decide to use, or do they think of them as more of a "Mother" or "Father"? How do you explain as you, the mother of the child, that you were not able to take care of you child when you first had them because you had not yet figured out how to take care of yourself? Will this continue to create even more of a fatherless society than we already have? I have always felt very fortunate to have both of my original parents, but that genre is quickly going out of style and has been for years. When I was a child, the majority of my friends had a step-parent. This effects me even now and I come into the age of getting married and wanting to have my own family. What are the chances of me finding someone to marry who has not already been married before, or has a child with another person? This cause and effect will be detrimental to our society for years to come, until something happens that will stop it and put it in a different motion. I do not claim to have any of the answers, but I sure do have quite a few questions.